"You make what doesn't matter fade to grey."
Mother's Day 2015. I shot a wedding the day/night before so I wanted to really soak up the day with my babes. And that we did. We watched Dora first thing together and snuggled, ate pancakes made by Adam, and played toys in our jammies till almost one in the afternoon.
Before heading over to my grandparents house we decided we were going to have to leave Henry at our house because it was muddy and very wet outside. I got sad for a minute and then decided to take a few extra minutes to snap a few photos with both of my babes. As you can see, Miss Ellis has the personality who could not be bothered to put down her corn chip for a pic; and Henry was way more interested in cat-hunting. And though my face might say otherwise, they really do make me laugh - even in these moments.
I'm not sure how to describe it. Other mom's know. Grandma's know. Aunts know. It's a fierce kind of love. Gentle and soft one minute, and sometimes stern and hard the next. The art of loving and caring with a steadiness so to not let things get out of hand, but finding that balance to teach with love. Being a mom of a toddler now feels different than being a mom to an infant like the past two years. It's fun. It's so challenging. It can be exciting and fun and exhausting all at the same time. One minute I'm threatening bed time at the end of a long day (yep, I threaten...sigh), and the next I'm taking it back because I really want to spend the next 30 minutes snuggling and watching Dora together before putting her to bed. The same with Henry. One minute I feel sorry that he's in the gate and we are out, so I let him out to explore. And then next, he runs off (like 90% of the time), and I'm frantic and irritated and then so relieved when he's just over in the neighbors yard.
It's a balancing act. No one can do it right all the time. Stumbles and falls along the way are normal right? Second guesses, worry, and guilt are just part of it.
Somehow God knew this would be my story of motherhood. He so thoughtfully prepared me with an amazing team of women who are always on my side to support and love unconditionally. Who love my babies with that same fierceness and genuine thoughtfulness to know when to offer help/advice/or just an ear to listen. Who pray when things are wonderful, and when things are scary and not so wonderful. Women who are brave despite odds. Women who trust in the Lord with all of their hearts.
It is through them I learned and continue to learn every day what it means to be a daughter, a sister, and a mom, and friend.
And though it's a day late, Happy Mother's Day to the mom's in my life. Babies or not, you are all mother figures to my babes and I thank God with my whole heart for you.
"Life it good. And that's the way it should be."
Lyrics by Echosmith from the song Bright.