I had been off the pill for almost nine months. Adam and I decided on our last anniversary in October that we would not try, per-say, we would just stop preventing. No big deal. Each month, my body was like clockwork. Not pregnant. No biggie. We didn't stress over it. We just went with the flow. Late March, however, the two of us took a weekend getaway trip to the Gaylord and I may or may not have had a bit of a crying spell out of fear that maybe there was something wrong? Maybe my body was not meant to get pregnant. (This crying spell also may or may not have been alcohol induced.) Adam reassured me that everything was fine and if we went an entire year, then we would see a doctor. Whew. I got over it and we were back to just going with the flow. Living life.
School ended in late May and I was one happy camper. Sleeping in, relaxing at home during the days. Hanging out with friends on the weekends. I seriously did not even pay attention to the calendar one bit. As a teacher, this happens every summer. I don't even so much glance at a calendar until August. June came around and was almost gone by the time I realized I might be late. Again, no biggie! I knew I would start eventually.
And then one Friday in late June, we went to dinner with friends and I over indulged on wine and beer. The two NEVER being a good combination for one occasion. Saturday I felt awful - as to be expected. I barely made it through my Saturday morning workout with my sister; only to come home and eat the BEST steak bean and cheese breakfast burrito (totally defeating the workout, I know, but it tasted so damn good). I followed up my burrito by crashing out for the remainder of the day. Sunday came along and I was still feeling awful. I remember asking Adam if we could "just stay in bed all day and watch Criminal Minds." And we did. Monday came around and I still was not feeling great. I thought maybe I was just super relishing in the fact that my summer had officially started - so what if I just wanted to watch t.v. all day???
Monday night after the gym, Adam and I decided to make our trip to Wal-Mart for groceries and as we passed by the feminine products a light bulb went off. Instead of picking up my regular box, I picked up a different one. The e.p.t. kind. Adam shot me a "really?!?" kind of look. You know, the raised eyebrows, shocked face. I just laughed and threw it in the basket. I think I said something like, "well, just in case." But truthfully, I knew it would be negative. And wouldn't you know, we went on with our grocery shopping and ran into what felt like, everyone we know, with the test in our basket. I just knew someone saw it.
I guess Adam never stopped thinking about it, because when we got home and started unloading the groceries, he said, "aren't you going to go take it?!" Again, I was not in any hurry, I knew it was going to be negative. I told him I was going to shower first and start dinner, then I would take it.
And that's just what I did. As I was getting out of the bathroom, he was coming in to shower, and I told him I was going to take it. I did and then I went on my way. About five minutes later, he was still in the shower and went back in to take a look.
Shocked would not even begin to describe my face.
More like blood rushed completely out of my face. I was paralyzed. Eyes wide, jaw dropped.
Adam pulled back the shower curtain and could immediately see the results from my face.
"Oh shit."
His exact words.
There was a lot of mumbling from both of us after that. I don't remember exactly what it was about, or even if we were talking to each other, or just thinking out loud.
We both sprawled out on the hardwood floors in our bedroom and stared at the ceiling. We didn't call anyone that night. We ate dinner and shared lots of googly eyes and smiles.
We were on our way to be parents.
Thanks for dropping by :)
