I made my last drive to San Saba High school as an employee of the district yesterday.
It was a melancholy drive. The thoughts in my head were so loud that I didn't even realize the radio was not on until I was half way there. When I turned it on, John Mayer's Say was on. And no other song could have been more fitting. The line, "Even if your hands are shaking...Do it with your heart wide open. Say what you need to say."
I was on my way to hand in my resignation. To tell the people that I have worked with and have loved for five years that I would not be coming back. My heart was already in my throat and I was miles outside of town.
It went much better than I thought I thought it would go. And by that, I mean that I was not a blithering crying mess. I got teary eyed, hugged several, and held it together. Much unexpectedly, tho. My brave face lasted about twenty minutes until I stepped into my classroom and began to pack up my bulletin board behind my desk.
There are so many memories up there. Five years worth. Each year, I have added to it. Special sentiments of things kids leave behind. This past year, I over heard some students commenting, "Oh, wow! I didn't know I had made the bulletin board! Look! She put up my art print/drawing/doodle." My bulletin board behind my desk was not for the most awesome artworks, it was for little things that my students had left behind that I thought spoke volumes about their personalties. A dollar cut in half and water colored. A hand drawing turned into a pig that had special powers. A rap that my seniors this year wrote for me. Photos that the students gave me. Those are the special moments I will never forget. I'm sure not all my students were up on the bulletin board, but they will all forever hold a special place in my heart. Sounds cliche, but I mean it with the utmost sincerity.
And so I pulled my hair back in a pony tail, put on some music and just let the tears fall. My heart smiling and crying all at the same time at each little memory.
Behind that large desk calendar, I noticed this poster for an art college that I had put behind my desk because I thought the graphic was cool. But yesterday, through teary eyes, all I saw were those words staring me in the face.
"Where can ART take you?"
It's so very true. Even for the art teacher.
When the school year ended, I planned to be back for the 2012-2013 school year. But like I know all too well, but still act shocked about, God's plans are sometimes different than mine. (smile)
Within literally a week - a Monday to a Monday - my place of employment changed. I am thrilled to say that I will be a Bangs Dragon. I will be teaching art at a district that will no longer require a 45 minute drive one way. And that, for Adam and I (and my mom, dad, sister who worry), is HUGE. But not only that, I believe that I will truly love this school district and the people I work with just as much as San Saba.
And my heart smiles today as I write this and the feelings and emotions set in.
His plans are not always on our time line, nor can we control them, but I trust that He is always right.
I drove home yesterday with my five boxes of memories in my back seat, singing to music the whole time. Happy about the next chapter. I trust that He will keep the friends I made in San Saba close to my heart, and we will meet again down the road if He sees fit.
A new adventure awaits me as a Dragon.
Adam and Henry had this waiting on me Monday night when I came home:
I think they are excited about my new journey as well...notice the "pawroud?!" Oh, those boys of mine (grin)!
Thanks for dropping by :)
